I’ve completed four days. Hunger persists. How much of this lemonade am I to drink? I had 11 servings yesterday. Since I am small relative to the rest of the population, and the recommendation is for 6-12 glasses a day, I am confused. But heck, confusion is a regular state for me. I would say on average unless I remember that people check their consciousness and divinity at the door when they enter into being a human being, I find so much of what happens in the world on a daily basis to be utterly non-sensical.

Last evening I had a massage with Gina. I see her twice a month. It was Shane’s idea, and one of his “better” ones for me. Normally I sleep blissfully after a Gina session, but last night I could not fall asleep, and when I did, i still woke up off and on. She actually did not so any traditional massaging; she did energy work. She said my energy was very “crackily.” We don’t discuss things afterwards in much detail. I know she experiences a lot of me, and for both of us, there is plenty in the silent knowingness.

So I am tired today.

Apparently (duh) a lot of my history is stored in my gut. Even as I write this, I almost distracted myself by clicking on my Mail icon to check my email. Let’s out another habit of mine – when I am doing something that is approaching an “uncomfort” zone, I naturally turn to something else – to keep a few balls in the air at the same time. So none of them has to occupy me too too much. Being busy like I am and incredibly curious about and in love with so much of the world, this has been a sure fire strategy. 🙂

This morning though just for fun I am going to go swim with Lexi before I even open my mail. People know they can call on one of three numbers if they have a problem they think we can fix. No messages. Shane is already working and has checked email; secondary requests would have arrived if they were important. He’s smart – and long ago set up client email distribution lists so we are both copied on things automatically. Our Inboxes mirror each others by about 70-80%. It’s a simple way of showing how much we cover each other’s backs. I really love that about our relationship.

We have been together since 2000 – 8 years. We are not married. Yet he is by far the most soul of my soul mates in this lifetime. I don’t think being married would ruin anything; we might get around to doing some day. But it certainly hasn’t been the necessary ingredient. What has? Willingness to look at and own and dismantle our own individual crap.