Putting Myself First – Want to Join Me?

Pull Mask to Initiate Flow of Oxygen by Craig Damlo on Flickr
Since I have committed to blogging daily for the month of July (connecting with #NaBloPoMo and #BlogBoost), I see this as an opportunity to jot down some of the sticky notes that hang out on the walls of my mind. The notion of “Putting Myself First” used to be a scary “no no” of an idea, but it is gaining more and more traction.

I’ve noticed for nearly 20 years that it works well in nature. Animals and plants tend to be very grounded in “who they are and who they’re not” and as such, focus not just on survival but on exploiting the nuances and (at times extreme) attributes of their essence and situation. It leads to incredible diversity and truly unlimited creativity in habitats, appearance, and lifestyle!

Let’s be very clear, that one of the reasons I am intrigued with the idea of “putting myself first” is because it terrifies some parts of me. 🙂 I built much of my life on figuring out how other people think/feel/work so I can hopefully receive enough crumbs from them to survive! But yeah, that is a Kid approach to life, not an Adult one.

So here are three reasons for putting myself first:

The airlines told me to.
There are many cases where putting myself first truly is the best strategy for both my survival and that of others. I love the clarity that comes from a basic life or death scenario. If the oxygen is depleting, put on my mask first so I can then function and help as many others as possible.

It’s no one else’s job.
Why should I ever expect anyone else to know what I want, when I want it, or how I want it? I certainly don’t want to take on that responsibility for anyone else, much less my larger circle of friends and family. I have actually tried! I’m not very good at it and all it does is exhaust me for no good reason. #ForNoGoodReason, for a little added emphasis.

It doesn’t exclude helping others.
That’s the inherent squiggly energy, right, when you think of putting yourself first? “Oh, how selfish!” Yes, but selfish really belongs more in the Functional column than the Dysfunctional column on my personal empowerment spreadsheet. Do you agree or disagree?

Part of why I write this blog is to find like-minded souls who may appear to be normal and mainstream on the outside yet who are looking for a more expanded version of consciousness to understand why they sometimes go against the crowd. In this case, why they long to put themselves first without feeling guilty about it. I am exploring new ways of being in the world and for me, the power of repetition and community are awesome!

Putting myself first is one of the fastest ways to better self-esteem, more energy, and more competency at helping others. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but not impossible!

Photo Credit: Pull Mask to Initiate Flow of Oxygen by Craig Damlo on Flickr (Dogs have a way to lighten things up, don’t they?)

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About Roxanne

I use a specialized form of coaching to help people be more of who they are and less of who they're not. I lived in Hawaii for 17 years and now reside in Santa Fe, NM. I work with clients around the world. I invite you to join my "Get Blissed" email list for updates.


  1. Really great article Roxanne and couldn’t have come at a more perfect time too – the Universe is doing it’s job! 😉

  2. This really does make sense! It goes back to the saying “if mama ain’t happy no one is happy!” I find if I continually deplete myself of giving to everyone else’s whim, I become a not so very nice person quickly. It seems selfish, but it is logical if you really think about it. It is almost to simple to grasp, and I seem to get caught up on the simple things way more than the larger more complex issues. Thanks Rox, this is a great outlet for me!

    • Oh I can relate. I might have to start something new like, “The Consciousness of Bitchiness” because i seem to figure some of this stuff out after I get the B-place. As we reinforce this for each other, we’ll each improve, right?

      The logic of it – yes, that is where the power hangs out I think. Great of you to point that out Andrea!

  3. I love this article Roxanne. You are being so true and it helped me to stop and take notice of some of things I am not doing to put myself first. Thanks for helping me to focus more on the person that makes it all happen, me!

    • Kimmie – I loved this >> “the person that makes it all happen.” Making it happen for you first, is making a waterfall of cascading coolness for others in your world! It’s a pleasure to meet you!