The World Does Not Need Another Self-Help Book

photo of Flower Fields of Carlsbad by Bill Gracey
Or so says my monkey mind. I agree with her this time actually, the world does not need another self-help book.

However it also does not “need” another skyscraper, or painting, or novel, or mass murderer, deadly winter storm or weed in my garden. Nonetheless all of those are being created as I type. It’s none of my business what any other person, plant, or animal is doing right now. It only matters what I am doing.

And if not write, what else? Oh, I could be sleeping (yum!) or watching the sunrise (actually, I am doing that just over my right — make that write — shoulder.) Those activities are quite appealing. I could also be doing plenty of mundane things. They are in fact, my “specialty.” Haha! I know how to stay busy better than anyone else I know! I have the stamina to keep up too – which is actually not all that helpful. Some days I (and others I imagine) would like it if I just collapsed on the ground, took a week long nap, and then woke up with amnesia about all the things I think I am supposed to be doing!

Still, here I sit. Morning 1 of my writing class, in my first 60 minute sprint. And what is flowing out of me (and that started last night in the hot tub under the almost full moon while I warmed the North Shore Maui chill off my bones before bedtime) is that others are actually writing this book with me, and for me.

I don’t need to write it. I have a good life. A successful career, my services are in demand. I say No more than I say Yes to new clients these days. I live on Maui, in paradise. I have a lovely home, a precious dog, Lexi, and an amazing partner, Shane. I could go on, but I am sure your small self has filled in a number of real and imagined details of “my perfect life.”

What I realized last night for the first time, is that there is in fact a pull coming from the universe, to write. There are in fact others who want to read what I am writing. To be clear, I am not doing it “for them” however I am acknowledging that I am not isolated in the universe, I am part of the living and breathing hologram. This movement of energy, now focused on the written word, is not just a two way street it is a noisy, teaming city full of people waiting at my door before dawn for my tasty morsels of consciousness side by side with delivery trucks rushing by who could care less.

I smile.

#ForYou. #ForMe. Thank you for writing this book with me. I look forward to sharing what I have learned, and learning what you want me to share. You have found my energy and many others are sensing it in the abstract without being conscious of it. The waves are rolling in, landing on countless shores, and sending back vibrations that I am surfing.

I am not sure what will be more interesting – the actual things I am sharing or the backstage process of how this is working for me. I am fascinated by both, in fact they are almost inseparable for me. One of my main points is that we are all connected, we are all a living iteration of the divine confined in a human form. The guru / teacher / leader energy is shifting massively. Our peer power is blossoming forth. It is the stunning beauty of a field with a thousand tiny blossoms, not just the lone bodhi tree reserved for Buddha himself.

That does not mean we are all the same – quite the contrary. It does mean that giving and receiving is becoming more balanced, that there is no loss of face to get knowledge from someone else that you are missing, just as you get food from the grocery store. The grocer hardly sits on a throne and demands reverence or fealty; s/he just puts out the food that she acquires from numerous sources knowing there are hungry people in every block!

I would like the sharing and consumption of spiritual consciousness to be that neutral and matter-of-fact. Easy to understand and digest, not laden with secret mantras or more goddamn rules. The world has enough rules, IMO. (In my opinion – if you are new to shortcuts.)

Mind you, the experience of spiritual consciousness can be out of this world glorious!!! Yes the angels do sing and the tears can flow and the chicken skin (aka goose bumps) can rise up in a massive salute! I savor that when it happens. But that banquet is not the goal, it is the reward. The goal is more freedom, more happiness. It is a shorter time span between an awareness and an action. It is a clearer understanding me, myself, and I. (And my small me, my grownup me, and my divine me.)

I am not so much interested in the raw accomplishments or failures of people as I am in their experience of them. I am playing with the mechanics of how to present this. “Front of house – the show goes on” and “back of house – OMG did the power just go out???”

Perhaps interwoven, with two different fonts, perhaps as a section in the back, perhaps as the blog that goes with the book. It will sort itself out I suppose over time.

Note to Self: Link this to those ideas on the beauty (and limits) of time that you wrote about the other day.

I feel a pause. I have 18 more minutes left in my scheduled hour. Mundane me would push and work this, be a good student, fill the page.

I think instead I will just feel the pause. Re-read and edit a little. Post this to my blog. It feels good and I am grateful for the moment.

Another aspect of this concept for later – to call out the self-loathing I my monkey mind has for this genre, and the many professions I have chosen/that chose me over the years. I am sure there is some comedy and consciousness in there!

Photo Credit: Flower Fields of Carlsbad by Bill Gracey on Flickr

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About Roxanne

I use a specialized form of coaching to help people be more of who they are and less of who they're not. I lived in Hawaii for 17 years and now reside in Santa Fe, NM. I work with clients around the world. I invite you to join my "Get Blissed" email list for updates.


  1. You are an inspiration to many via what you’ve already mastered in life. I’m happy that you are allowing the Universe to move through you and giving your words momentum. Write on! You can do this.

  2. Rox, this is such a valuable post! I love the line “we are all a living iteration of the divine confined in a human form.” I love it so much, I just posted your blog on my Facebook page! Thank you for opening my eyes to shy I’m writing my self-help book:) xo Terri

  3. I like the fact that you acknowledge we are all created differently, thank God, otherwise what a boring world we would have! I believe I can learn from absolutely everyone i encounter every day, even if they don’t share my same beliefs. Actually sometimes that is where i learn the most. I have become more aware of letting my children speak their own mind, trying not to put the words in their mouth and trusting that they too need to experience life through their own eyes. I love your openness about your self, i love that you don’t have to try and pursued people by preaching. Keep up the great works.

  4. Good day! Would you mind if I share your blog with my zynga group?
    There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Thank you