Are You Addicted to Seeking?

photo of books without a shelf by nofi on flickrThere is this catch-22 for many spiritual people or those seeking various forms of enlightenment or manifestation of more [fill in your wishes here]. We have this gut sense that things could or should be “better” – meaning manifesting more. More happiness. More money. Better relationships. Less struggle. You know the stuff. And we keep seeking it out there, instead of in here.

Over the centuries we have trained ourselves to seek “out there” for remedies and solutions. Many of them are a blast to do! At least initially. I have been to many workshops, retreats, read books, taken substances. I will say that I experienced varying levels of bliss, and felt like I was moving in the right direction. But I never felt I had arrived, until Divine Openings.

I felt dependent on my latest modality fad – it had to go with me wherever I went in case I needed help! Deep inside, I resented this dependency, especially as my understanding of quantum physics grew and my belief that we are all the Divine Incarnate walking the earth cemented into my reality. Darnit, I did not want to have go to a channeler or a book or formula to feel better. I wanted to commune directly with the source and get my own personal insights on my own timeframe.

So naturally I manifested that. 🙂 I do believe we create our own reality! When Lola went to India for her 30-day silent retreat and initiation, she received the enlightenment message that we can now do this for each other, directly, no guru required. I have tossed out all my old self-help books, and if that strikes fear in your belly, just notice what power you may have given away to those books – power that actually belongs to you. (“Tossed” over and donated to the library, to be exact.)

I think these earlier systems of enlightenment played an important role in the progression of consciousness and I am grateful for them. I also cannot put to words the ecstasy I felt when the “sliding glass door rolled open beside me” and there was the Presence, my long lost friend, my long lost Large Self me basking in the sunlight.

Not everyone is ready to leave behind the modalities – but you may be if you are finding less and less relief from them. Or if you, like me, are increasingly tired of being dependent on someone else to get answers. Or if you want the fast track to manifestation. Or if you want to accept yourself, warts and all, unconditionally and really mean it!

Lola has a great article on How to Kick The Seeking Addition. You might want to read it if you often find yourself turning to someone or something out there where you feel your mood heading south or when it feels like “the world” (ha!) is working against you. She explains really well how the vibrations you are feeling are the secret to ending your addiction.

Photo Credit: Books without a shelf by nofi on

roxanne darling's signature

About Roxanne

I use a specialized form of coaching to help people be more of who they are and less of who they're not. I lived in Hawaii for 17 years and now reside in Santa Fe, NM. I work with clients around the world. I invite you to join my "Get Blissed" email list for updates.