I have completed three days. I have been hungry I will admit. Being hungry brings with it all sorts of other things.
One is the habit of just heading towards the kitchen when I feel hungry! Oops. No food remember Rox? Oh yeah I remember. I’ll have a lemonade instead.
Next is the slight depression that comes with being hungry. I am debating actually whether the depression is from the hunger or the lack of nourishment. Since I am technically getting about 1200 calories from the maple syrup and lemon juice though, I think I am “nourished” if not “sated.” That feeling of emptiness however is quite powerful at times.
I think that is because I am still wired for the primal me in this department. Food = Survival. Hunger = Death. Of course the more I explore the humans who are truly pushing the edges of mind-body consciousness I have learned about “breatharians”:http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=breatharians&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8. They actually subsist without food and process energy instead of food to get their nourishment. (I realize most people reading this will not believe that is possible. But aren’t we just talking about moving around atoms and changing molecular structures? I think it’s just easier with food.) But I always turn to India, where the yogis have demonstrating ginormous feats of physical transformation, in support of spiritual enlightenment.
I thought before I started, this would clear me of cravings for food. I am not so sure now. Food has been elevated in an odd way to something special. I saw Shane walk by with a salad yesterday, and it looked and smelled divine! I will say I have no craving for chocolate or potato chips though, none whatsoever. But I am developing a respect and passion for food. Hmmm.
I learned the first few days that I have a habit of delaying gratitude that I think is extreme. This meant I actually did not have my first lemonade until about noon on day 2 (a Monday…). I got too hungry. I noticed the pattern. I made a change on day 3 and I fared much better.
It’s funny isn’t it how we take a habit or a thing and automatically buy into, “More is Better.” More food, more delayed gratitude, more motivation, more blog comments, more happiness even. We are rarely satisfied with _what is._ With Be. Here. Now. Ram Das has been teaching us that for decades.
That reminds me – I am turning on some “Krishna Das”:http://barefeetshop.com/shop.php?k=krishna+das&c=mp3 chanting to listen to. I find it uplifting when I am in this kind of introspective mood.
It’s not easy knowing the balance point for me, especially since I have taken most all rules off the table in my life. I reject most of group mind until I have a chance to tease it apart and keep what is just for me. What sings to me, what enlivens me or relaxes me, or whatever me that I am dealing with at any given moment.
Isn’t it funny how we take something that works for us and think it would or should work for everyone else? It’s equally funny that we would should want to use someone else’s formula instead of crafting our own – now that we have the freedom to do that.
Not long ago we depended on each other in such profound ways for actual survival. It was in many ways an efficient system – though the division of labor and reward was decidedly unequal. There is a lot to be said to easing the stress of daily life. Maintaining a mind, a body, and a heart not to mention entering into relationship with others is no simple task.
I tend to think it is harder somewhat now, as we have so many choices, technology lets us create and consume so much brilliance and crap, there are amusement parks in every corner of my mind and on every street corner I drive as well. The number of shops and cafes in my tiny town of Kailua that I have not ever entered in 6 years here is staggering. 🙂
I wonder if the new mastery centers around building an ignoring muscle. Training my personal radar to only seek and find those few people and things who truly connect with me on the level I wish – of course it will not be the same for all.
This continuous filtering, evaluating, accepting and rejecting can be exhausting. I think partly because I am so new at it.
Looking at this post, I see that I am far more interested in the psycho-spiritual happenings of my cleanse than the more commonly discussed bowel movements. For me, my body is here to support my consciousness.
P.S. I also realized yesterday that it is easier to stay on this cleanse living with Shane as compared to being by myself. I think I would have given up a few times. He is doing and saying nothing one way or the other. It is just the energy of him, that I am using as a bumper of sorts to stay focused on my process. I think it helps that he has been very neutral and normal about his eating. Not teasing or taunting or hiding. Just normal. Thank you Shane.
For me, consciousness is everything.