I just watched the evening news, and there were two stories that really got my attention, as a still relatively new resident of the ‘aina. (land)
First the new mayor of Honolulu announced an increase in motor vehhicle fees to pay for neglected road and sewer maintenance. SUVs will pay more. A local bruddah was interviewed about his fees going from about $78 to around $110. He said, “No, I don’t mind. I mean, it’s to help the community, yeah, that’s good, I don’t mind.” I was expecting the usual rant of “how dare they raise my taxes” only to have this very thoughtful, gentle response that instantly conveyed: the roads belong to all of us.
Second was sentencing heaering for a young man who killed a woman in a drunk driving accident. Again, I was expecting the moral outrage when the woman’s son stood to speak. Instead, he was quiet, and he looked at the defendent. He said, “I forgive you. This is hard for everyone, but I forgive you.” At that point, the defendent fell into tears.
When people yell, others naturally harden up to defend and protect. The louder the yell, the less that is heard.
Want to soften someone up? Tell them you forgive them. Tell them you love them. Whisper it, don’t yell it.
I love the open-heartedness of the islands of Hawai’i. When you come here, notice how people will stop and let you into traffic, how they will talk to you on the beach like old friends, how they will hug and kiss you even at a business meeting.
It’s different here. With love and aloha to Hawai’i, from Hawai’i.